Sometimes one has to fight for what they want.

Dearest Sledgehammer*,
If you are reading this, you have succeeded, and solved your riddle.
Make a blog, like mine, and then I will talk to you again.
Sorry for putting you through this, Sledghammer. It was just a test.
I do miss our conversations, though. I just believe that you have made some mistakes, and I hope that this quest has helped you solve some of them.
I'm proud that you remembered this. :)
I shall not blog again, until you do.

Torching the Smoke,for what may be a long time,
Leahpeia.

Why do things have to be a certain way? Are humans no longer subject to change?

Hey, Y'all!!
Super fast bloggers here. I'm leaving for work in, well, approximately 4 minutes.
I work with veggies, at my friends acreage, and sell them at a Farmer's Market.
Awesome, eh?
Anyways, school is almost upon me...
Am I content with my summer?
Somewhat. Wayyy better than last year.
I just have amazing friends, and I just can't even describe how lucky I am!
Well, I'll talk later.
Toodles!

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

If I could grow wings, I'd teach myself to fly.

Ola, nino's!
Long time no bloggers, but what else is new?
Life has kinda been sucking, lately.
Or maybe thats just today, because, well, I just finished reading The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman.
It's the last book of His Dark Materials trilogy (I think that's what it happens to be called) but more common known as the Golden Compass trilogy.
It's sort of a bittersweet book-but the ending was astonishingly depressing...
He is a wonderful author though.
Sigh.
What else is new? Hmmm.
My super amazing neighbor/teammate/friend left to (unenclosed destination)to go to University on a swimming scholarship.
I'll never swim with her again, on the same team. I'll hardly ever see her anymore.
I guess that's a part of growing up-leaving things behind.
It kinda feels like there is a heavy brick in ones chest, and a blank feeling of mind.
Just as Marshall Mathers said: "I can't tell you how it really is-I can only tell you how it feels like."
I love him-because he's one of those few artists who rap how stuff is-not just what's popular, or what sells.
And I can also relate to all of his songs.
It amazing how captivating his music happens to be-emotionally and psychologically.
Summer is almost over, and my life is moving on...
I still have difficultly determining whether or not I should embrace change, or bat it away and avoid it like the plague.
Yet, I guess that the human race would never have evolved if they had cowered from it like a beaten dog to a human.
I think those series I re-read changed many things about how I view the world.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Looking at the stars makes one feel like they are merely a speck of dust in the universe.

This will be my last bloggers in a while, folks!
And it shall be very short and sweet.
I am headed off to (Confidential Location) tomorrow for Nationals for my most extremely epic and amazing sport of competitive swimming!
I won't be able to blog over there... no internet, and no computer!
I may die.
Well, wish me luck, fellow creepers whom I love!

Bye for now.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Don't fear what can be controlled; fear what can control you.

Ola, chicas!
Long time no blog, as usual.
But really, what else is new?
I also have really no idea what to blog about.
Maybe how I happened to smuggle this laptop into my room at about 11 o'clock, trying to be all sneaky and everything, but -with absolutely no surprise here- I knocked down the GuitarHero electric guitar things, which crashed down with an astonishing decebel level.
Sigh.
Of course, this led me to curse under my breath, stumble, and cause a stack of DVD's to do the equivalent.
Wow, am I not just the most boring person on the face of this pathetic planet?
If you think I'm not- well, thank you.
What else to say?
Hmmmmm.
Actually, I have no idea. Summer is going great, I guess! I'm actually having a bit of a social life with my swim team, which is sweet. Last summer was awful... But I won't really go into that now, because, well, its sort of a repressed 2 months.
Yikes. You know those really weird "DepressionHurts" commercials airing on TV these days?
Jeez. Those ARE depressing, actually.
Just watching that makes me want to go to that website.
The other day, I opened up my Journal, and sort of scanned it, just to get that nostalgic feeling, ya know?
Well, I kinda wish I didn't.
Last summer was really rough for me... It mainly consisted of lazing around. Doing nothing.
I'm not even kidding!
Here's an excerpt, dated July 4th, '09.
"Oh, I can just see my wonderful day emerging!
1)Slept in really late- 10:45 ish. Half the day gone, missed online time with SAP* (Who was on vacation at the time, so we stayed in contact online)and now I probably won't fall asleep tonight 'till 2ish.
2)Ate some undercooked muffins for breakfast. Yum. They also stuck to the paper, so I only really got the top part of the muffing. So, I think I ate the paper tryin' to get the rest off.
3) Cleaned Brother's* disgusting mess up in the bathroom, from him shaving and somehow getting hair all over the place.
4)Showered for a very long time, hoping I would drown in it.
Then I just talk about how miserable my life is for the next 4 pages. Ohhhhh man.
Am I not sad?
Also, it mentions how I laid on the front lawn staring at the sky.
I did that a lot last summer...
I'm just glad I took control of my life, and started living again-not moping around like last year.
But still, I think it's important to remember the past, and consider the improvements (or if things got worse) to see how one's life happens to progress.
I'm glad I made the choices I made. But still, the thought of what would have happened if I didn't keeps nagging my conscience.
I wonder, when we die...do we discover how our lives would have turned out, if we made different decisions?
It's all crazy, mind boggling stuff, and I really don't enjoy pondering this subject.
I get all worked up about it.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Dandelions aren't weeds; only overbearing flowers.

Ola, random people whom I adore! :)
I decided to blog twice today, which is practically a miracle.
I guess that last post was INSANELY long, which, sadly, usually happens with me. When I rant, I DON'T STOP.
Especially when my emotions are absolutely reelin' over the subject.
I just finished reading my very awesome and super fantabulous friend's blog a minute ago... and it was SO cute, my heart was pounding as the story went on!!! It was so cute. I'm happy for her :)
But it still made my think... or wonder, could that ever have happened between me and him?
...
HAHAHA
Who am I kidding?
Sigh. I still wish that I'd find that special boy one day.
...
I just re read what I just typed.
Wow, I sound like a daydreaming, fluff teenager!
I am so ashamed of myself.
I take it back.
I actually don't really know what to blog about right now... I'm just so insanely bored, that I just had to do something fun and a little productive.
Today was pretty boring, I guess... my brother is graduating tomorrow, and I swear, EVERY single person who happens to be related to us is coming to visit right now. So far... we have had... lets count.
My Uncle.
My other Uncle (who happens to be crazy. Not even kidding. I'm kinda scared of his mental instability.)
My Aunt.
My Aunt's hubby, or Uncle.
My cousin, and boyfriend.
We are expecting 4 more.
Ohhhhh jesus.
Well, to fill you in on things... my brother got a full ride scholarship to a university in the states for swimming. He will be gone for 5 years, so most of them won't see him again till he's done.
Lucky kid, eh? So, all of this will be over tomorrow, I guess.
My bestest friend will also be leaving for a month to go on vacation, which also really sucks... so practically, this summer will be pretty boring, as usual.
I need to get some friends, eh? Haha!
Oh well.
But, something that made my day?
There is this boy I met on a swimming trip I went on a little while ago. And, just sayin', he is eeeeeeasy on the eyes!!!
And he talked to me again today.
Just sayin'.
:)
Also- one thing that bothers me?
Well, a lot of things do (obviously, if you have read my other bloggerss!)
It's that everyone hates dandelions.
I absolutely ADORE them!
I think they are actually really pretty, and I think its sad how people think them as weeds. :( Especially when they go to seed.
It could allude to something, you know?
Even though they are hated, destroyed, and poisoned by thousands of people each day, they still move on, and carry out what they are supposed to do. Go to seed, and send out their children.
I know that sounds pretty cheesy.
But just think about it for a second! Everything that people like - roses, for example- are always planted. We pretty much control them.
Dandelions? They're free.
We don't appreciate the beauty enough in common things that surround us.

Torching the smoke,
Leahpeia.

I wish I was brave enough to be the change I wish to see in the world.

Hooooolly crappers.
Not saying that crap is holy, or anything.
I feel like a traitor to the blogging society!
I have not blogged in... lets say, practically two months!
Yikes.
So much has happened, I don't even know where to start!
Well, I guess that school is over, exams are done, and it's SUMMER! :)
Yayyyyy, right?
No, not really. I kinda like school (Am I a normal teenager? Wait, obviously nope!) because it keeps me busy, I guess. Summer is sort of boring.
I also celebrated my birthday, recently (and by recently, I mean within the time I have not blogged) and now I feel incredibly old. Holy man. I don't even KNOW how I'll feel when I turn eighty - if I live that long, that is.
What else?
Oh. Me and him- completely done.
Regrets?
Sort of.
I guess there was nothing there to begin with.
Wow. What an awfully boring life I have, eh?
It makes me very depressed.
You know whats really weird, though?
Even though I hardly have time to blog- every night, before I got to bed, I do a "imaginary blog" in my head. Like what I would write, word for word, If I were blogging at the moment.
And usually its just complaining about how much I dislike the choices that my teenage generation make.
Why can't people think for themselves?
I was listening to the radio one day, and I heard something along the lines "Everyone says they want to be different, but they have to be different with their own "Clique" or crowd... they are unable or brave enough to be different by themselves."
I thought it was extremely wise.
So that hippie boy at school? I have so much respect for you.
I think that kids don't realize that high school doesn't last forever.
Not that I have anything against gym teachers- its just I believe that they are the perfect example of kids who never got over high school.
And kids are still obsessed with alcohol, sex, and partying as well.
Nothing ever changes, does it?
I read this one magazine - Grip Magazine, I think its called.
I really like it because they approach teen issues- like alcohol and binge drinking for example- with a different light on things.
They talked about how every teen will have to make choices sometime in the future about alcohol- and that who their friends are, or who they hang out with, play a huge part in what decisions they will make.
What I liked about it, was that the article didn't allude to: DON'T DRINK! IT'S TERRIBLE GOD WILL HATE YOU AND YOU WILL GO TO JAIL AND DIE! Sort of thing. They just stated how that you will have to choose, based on what you believe. Its up to you to make the right choice, but listen to your body and heart.
I liked that.
Like I said before, kids usually can't think for themselves these days. Or think for others, either.
My interpretation of things is that they focus too much on appearance, social lives, and "livin' life" sort of stuff.
We are the next generation of workers. We will run the country in ten years.
Nation wide and worldwide issues still need to be resolved. Environment issues are still issues.
If our youth don't care about it now, will they care in the future?
I am hearing things about this generation of mine... media is saying how the youth are more intellectual. They care and think more about rights, issues, and peace. They care more.
Is that actually true?
Youth stereotypes state otherwise. We steal, vandalize, break the law, and party.
We don't vote. We usually don't get involved in politics or issues.
Can one person influence this entire population?
Is there actually hope, for this crumbling world?
Sure- people say times are good.
Don't get me wrong- I'm not complaining.
I just think its that way because we ignore- or sweep under the rug- issues that don't want to be dealt with.
The Environment.
Political Issues in other countries.
Minorities.
Economic Inequalities.
And millions more.
Soon, too much dirt and crap is going to be accumulated under that rug.
Sometime, someone is going to have to clean up that mess.
If our youth don't care, how are we going to deal with it?
Is so much dirt going to be accumulated that it will destroy the rug altogether?
Or will the job be too big for one person to clean up? Will we need everyone to help?
I don't know. I think we just need another John Trudeau. Or Tommy Douglas. Or Martin Luther King Junior.
Or maybe someone even better.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Rules seem like they are made to be broken.

Its me, again.
Holy man!
Very long time since last bloggers.
This is the first time I have been on the computer, though, for some free time in a while.
So its all goooooood! :) At least I made it on today.
So what's new?
Nothing really.
Other than that I despise the opposite sex, at the moment.
Don't worry.
I'm not going lesbian.
I AM STRAIGHT.
Hehehehehehehehe.
But boys are still stupid.
And they lie.
And they suck.
Urgh.
Anyways.
OH!
Did you know, that every time I type "Anyways" I always type it like "Anywyas" at first, so I have to go back and change it?
EVERY TIME.
Kinda weird.
Another thing that's kinda weird?
My cat plays fetch.
She legitimately plays it.
Kinda cracks me up.
Wow.
I am SUCH a boring, lethargic teenager at the moment.
*SAD FACE*
Sorry for such an ADD post.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

You have to listen beyond the lyrics.

Hey, Y'all. :)
SUPER SUPER FASTO BLOGGERS, HERE.
Haha, I'm in Social Studies at the moment.
And off-task.
And if I get caught- I'm practically dead meat.
Correction.
Dead GROUND meat.
Hahahahaha.
Anyways.
Life is actually kinda boring, haha.
I gatta go, class is going to end!
Sorry for the very boring post.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Sacrifices have to be made, to stop the spread of heartbreak.

Hello everybody.
I kinda don't know what to blog about at the moment.
I let it all out last blog, for those who read it, haha.
Yes, I'm sorry. It was very long.
My computer is acting funny, and its not letting me put some more tunes on my iPod.
Mayyyyyyjor bummer.
Hopefully, I will be able to put some more on soon.
I'm kinda going through a "I need music to help me get over/move on/feel happy/to explain my self through the lyrics" stage.
I'm sure you know what I mean, its just pretty hard to explain I guess.
Oh well.
He tried talking to me, sort of.
And by talking, I mean texting.
Cause that's the only way he can talk to me.
Anyways, I'm not answering... why should I?
He sort of chucked my heart into that paper shredder.
And why doesn't he just go and talk to her?
Cause he likes her sooooo much. Right?
I just wish that I knew this from the very beginning.
Then I would have never gone down this road.
I feel like a tool.
But its not like I have anything against this girl.
If she knew she'd blame it all on herself... but I guess I deserve all of this.
I dragged her into it, cause I was such a damn coward.
Karma sure bit me in the (SWEAR AH) this time.
So now I can't tell her what happened... cause I don't want her to get hurt, too.
Urgh.
Anyways, on a happier note - I had a pretty awesome day.
I made six dozen cupcakes!
It was pretty great. I don't really know what happened to all of them, though.
I brought them to the pool, and my bud handed them out... and now I have no idea where the tupperwear containers ended up, let alone the 6 dozen cupcakes.
Hmmmmm.
Swimmers are very, very fat.
Yet, it's a wonderful thing.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Pleasure is replacing love.

Hey everyone!

What
A
Crazy
Week
Sorta
Ish.

Urgh.

First of all- I just got back from a killer swim camp a little while ago (a.k.a Sunday, a little passed midnight (so I guess Monday morning) after driving for 12 hours)and it was great. Even though I died, and sweated more than I though possible (gross, eh?) I had an awesome time. I finally got the aura and feeling of having a real, large team who worked together and pushed each other in a positive way.
Not to bash my home team- It just sorta made me realize how sad our small club here is... But sadly, there is nothing that I can do.
Also... I really hate how karma comes back and bites you right in the bum.
As you all know, I wanted to use a different word in that sentence.
But I can't swear online- oh no!
Anyways, back on topic.
I just wish I could remember what I did to deserve this?
I know its not his fault, no one can help how they feel.
No matter how much your brain screams, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING YOU STUPID TARD!"
It just sucks for the other person. A lot.
Lets just say my heart was kinda just put into the paper shredder tonight.
The lights of hope have been blown out by a sandstorm.
Yay.
(The "Yay" was sarcastic, for those who aren't the brightest. It's okay.)
Its like being caught up in a tornado.
You think you are going to get blown to someplace new, different, involving many risks.
But my tornado?
Had to go and dump me right where I was swept up in the first place.
To tell you the truth though... I feel awful.
His brain must be killing him right now, because he's actually a guy that cares.
That doesn't want to hurt anyone.
I'm still glad he told me though, it wouldn't be fair to any of us if he didn't.\
Him.
Me.
Or her.
I wish my brain and heart actually agreed for once, though.
How really are you supposed to confront and deal with these situations anyway, without hearts being broken?
I think it's pretty dang impossible.
How is that fair?
I don't know. All I do know is that whoever thought up "All's fair in love and war" totally got the ball on that one.
Sorry y'all- I know this makes no sense.
To tell ya the truth- lately, nothing in my brain makes sense anymore.
I think I just gatta stop wishing, and start doing, and trying to make stuff happen.
But why does it always have to be so hard?
Life would be so much easier if you were selfish.
Anyways- we recently started Sex Ed in Health.
Wooot.
Actually, so far I kinda am enjoying it.
Doesn't that sound terrible?
But don't worry- I'm not enjoying the thing we all think of when "Sex Ed" comes to mind.
Our Health teacher made me really think about some stuff, about how girls are dealing with a double edged sword.
If you're not a skank, you're frigid.
If you're not frigid, you're a skank.
There is not other viewing of teens.
Then, girls who ARE skanks take offense when they are called that.
What, giving BJ's and HJ's and having random hook up sessions is NOT skankish anymore?
Replacing feelings and crushes with urges and spur of the moments?
I'm not perfect, but I just can't see why girls want to be known to want to do this sort of stuff!
Can they not face the truth, and realize that is what they have become?
What is happening to love!?
Is it for popularity? Do they feel like a part of something, wanted for anything? Just to be known, and to be talked about?
Why do women wanted to be treated like objects?
I
Don't
Understand.
And I don't think I ever will.
You see, if these girls kept these things to themselves, I wouldn't mind. Sure- go nuts.
But if you DON'T act like them, they make you believe you should.
That you're frigid, and not "livin' life."
Yet, if you ARE like them, you're a skank.
A slut.
Gross, and people just use you.
Maybe we should start thinking before we speak.
Or start sticking up more for our personal beliefs.
Yet, again, this stuff is always so dang tough to deal with.
You're twice as strong, if you have another by your side.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Was that just a deer in daytime?

Hey fellow creepers :)
Anyways, here's a really quick post here- I'm at school, being a complete rebel.
I'm actually supposed to be doing some extreeeeeeemely complicated sciece project.
Whats my topic?
No idea.
Anyways, it has been a pretty psychotic week- I will fill you all in later... when my chance of getting in trouble for being off topic is significantly lower. It won't be for a while, though- today I'm heading off to a swim camp/dual meet in someplace*
And I have to go- I JUST ALMOST PRACTICALLY GOT CAUGHT BY MY TEACHER.
Haha. Oh hell.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Who needs drugs, when you can be High on Love?

Hey fellow creepers!
(Just kidding.)
Really really fast blog, here.
Lets just say- the past 24 hours were practically incredibly amazing!
I had approximately seven mini-spazzes, which inevitably resulted in me hurting myself. Luckily though, this time it was only one of those mini Guitar Hero guitars (that come in cereal boxes) that smoked me in the head. Other than that - injury free!
Not like that other time when I jumped from a chair with my eyes closed.
That was... not the wisest.
Anyways.
Why am I so incredibly happy, as you may be wondering?
Well, I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself... If you have been reading my previous blogs.
:)
I'm pretty happy.
He is... even sweeter than what I hoped.
I also had some... hmmm, let's say... intense phone calls (but not like camping) last night (super late) with my VERY good pal Sledgehammer*.
They were also quite disturbing.
Other than that, there was really no aberrant phenomenons today- other than the Ten Commandments, the longest, most BORING movie ever. I think it was going on for what, six hours?
Really, people. Religion is great- but only in small doses.
They could at least to TRY to make it interesting, but man! My eyes were rolling and I was practically drooling, plopped down on the couch, trying to watch it.
SIX HOURS!

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

*names have been changed.

The Awakening.

she opened her eyes.
nothing she saw was familiar. where was she? who was she?
around her, all the girl saw were four strong, brick walls.
above her, all the girl saw was blackness.
how did she get in here?
then the walls started closing in. closer and closer they came towards her, engulfing her with their strong composure.
soon they had embraced her, entered inside of her, and enclosed around her heart.
through the blackness, all the girls feelings were dropped and trapped inside the brick cage. they were contained.
but soon, there were too many. too many terrible feelings, too much pain.
they tore down the walls around her heart.
and these feelings entered her mind, her veins, her heart, and slowly yet quickly enough, had taken over all that the girl once knew and believed.
there was nothing else in the world to live for now.
the girl couldn't find out who she was anymore. she couldn't remember the years of happiness after all those years of pain.
so what did the girl do?
she went looking.
because she knew, and so did everyone else, that the best cure
was happiness itself.

'Cause if you jump, I will jump too.

Hey, readers.
This must be a new, all time record!
I am actually blogging... two days in a row! Woooooooot! :)
But I guess I do get this week off, so I'm going to try to blog everyday now.
So. Whats new in my pathetic life?
Lets just say- I have some really amazing friends. And right now, I really don't know what I could do without them...
And something happened yesterday, say, around, 12:03 am. Yes, midnight.
I got a wonderful text message from Facebook.
And it made my YEAR.
Its funny how something so small can make you ecstatic. I lost about 3 hours of sleep because of it... but who cares! It was wonderful!
It doesn't really matter what happened... :)
Lets just say it has something to do with my previous Bloggers.
The feeling was... insane.
Don't worry- I wasn't doing drugs or alcohol or anything. I was high on emotion.
I'm still having trouble accepting this though. That this is actually happening in my life, for once.
I guess I got so used to no one being there... no one actually caring... its really hard for me to believe this.
As much as I tore down those walls, there's still bits and pieces there.
I guess all I have to do now, is wait it out. Hopefully the outcome will be a fairytale ending?
Maybe, maybe not.
Just to let you know- I'm as terrified as I am happy.
The fear of happiness.
"It feels so wrong, but it feels so right."
-Mr. Marshal Mathers. (Eminem, to all you noobs out there.)

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

Dear God: Can you please write a book on life? Thanks.

Hey everyone- again, long time no blog. The usual.
What an insane week- but yet, is my life ever normal?
No.
Actually, though, the past little while my life turned to a new page. One I don't even know how to handle- and usually I'm pretty confident with new challenges. But this? No. I'm terrified. You know what it is?
The opposite sex.
Yes, boys.
Ack.
Lets just sum this all up in a nice, short little bit - I've had crushes before... but not of this variety. I can't even spend a second with him out of my brain...
Oh my gawd. I sound like some lovesick teenager! Only ones that you read about.
Ack.
He's really sweet though... someone who has that outside layer, but underneath they are really sweet and considerate.
Its just kinda tough tearing away that outer layer.
We were chatting on Facebook chat, (sadly, it was just chit-chat) and he brought up some... sort of bad memories that I made myself forget.
He made me realize how much my life has changed for the better.
Sometimes, I guess, its good to remember the bad times in order for you to recognize the good. And I had forgotten. Correction- I made myself forget. Who wants to remember those things anyways?
I'm really glad I did end up remembering. The pain of the past 2 years really made me appreciate how good everything is now.
It was just nice to see... how someone actually cared about me, though. That's how he made me remember... he was actually asking about how I was, and if I ever got hurt. No one actually cared before. I really hope he means it though... and maybe feels the same way about me as I feel about him.
I'm sorry readers- this probably makes no sense.
But I hope you can kind of relate.
Don't you wish life was actually like fairytales- always with a happy ending?
I know I sure do. Everyday.

Torching the Smoke,
leahpeia.

Oh, French Underpants Could Know it.

Woooooooooooooot! Time for another blog. I should be going to bed- after all, i have practice in the morning, and I have been averaging 4 hours of sleep per night this week.
Wonderful.
Anyways, I don't want to go to bed. So, I'll just type another blog about my day/week WHICH LIKE REALLY SUCKED.
I had a huge English project, involving Animal Farm.
I am the sort of person who cannot write a short piece of writing. I won't go into the details of the project, but I will say that it was very LOOONNNNG.
I sort of feel bad for my English Teacher.
Also, my swim coach is really pissing me off- I asked for ONE day off (and it wasn't even a day off, I had swam in the morning) and he practically threw a spazz. I took it off anyways, and I was still up until 1am, ish. Also, my I think my best friend is developing a eating disorder... and I don't know what to do to help her. Since she's a swimmer, like me, she REALLY needs to eat, or she will, well, die. Ack.
To make my week even worse, I will tell you about my Drama Class Issue of the Year.
I was starving, and the cafeteria was selling Sweet Potato Fries. THEY ARE DELICIOUS, and my favorite! :) But the cafeteria ladies took 10 minutes to make them.
My break is 10 minutes.
I also got an ice-cream sandwich.
I was looking forward to eating the piping hot, delicious smelling fries.
I go to drama.
My stupid, evil, mean intern drama teacher MADE ME PUT THEM TO THE SIDE, and my ice-cream sandwich!
They got stone cold, and made the whole room smell like delicious fries.
But I couldn't eat them.
Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is torture. Screw all this "I am going have you quartered, and stretched" stuff.
Plus, my ice-cream sandwich was a pile of mush.
Urgh.
I'm just really happy I made it through the week.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

I'm not immature, its called I have fun.

"By now, I assume that you have moved on from grade 8 and matured a little." - my math teacher.

What's going on in my head at the time- a ninja pulling down his pants, and pooping on a cloud made of cotton candy.

;)

I haven't blogged in a while, as usual, so I just decided to put a quick post before peacin' out. Homework and a life really stink sometimes!

Hopefully I will have time to blog more soon!

Torching the Smoke,

Leahpeia.

So, it continues.

Hey everyone,
I haven't posted a blog recently... I should get on this more often! It seems like I think of some great idea to rant about-then the next time I sit on the computer, its just like, what was my idea again? So, I just decided to sit down and write about whatever happened to pop into my brain at the moment.
First of all, I was chillin' with one of my great pals at lunch (I won't reveal any names for privacy purposes) and we were just looking through all of my "hormonally caused rants" in my outbox. So, here's a couple here.
"Oh, take a screwdriver and go screw yourself. And I hope your noodles burn, and shrivel up like dried up mice fetuses that have been layin' in the sun too long. Can you even guess my epic sport?"
"Ah. Anyways. you still haven't guessed what I do. And don't worry- it's not some dumb, team sport where you are automatically popular when you join. Individual sports: those are the REAL !@#$."
"How depressing. My gawd, now I am all depressed again, how terribly boring and sad our average, stupid, pointless lives are. There has to be a point, or something else out there. Except, every single thing i have read have stated bluntly that this sort of paranoia, that there is something else out there, something else, something more to life, is just normal, average human paranoia that everyone gets. I HATE HGG (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, probably one of the most epic books ever written) as much as i love it."

But really, if you think about it, IS there really a point to all of this? Is there ever a point? For example, you fail a test. It may be important to you at the time, but really, in the end, does it matter? Will it effect the outcome of everything? Will YOU affect the outcome of anything? I guess its ours to decide. But -if you know what I mean- I sort of wish that someone could make that decision for me, so I wouldn't be as lost as I am with this whole thing. In the end, is it just how we treat others around us, how WE affect their lives as a whole? I guess the purpose of our lives is up entirely to the individual. Sadly, not everyone makes the right choice.
Have you ever listen to the song "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wrainwright?
If you haven't, listen to it. And I mean really listen to it.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

I don't even UNDERSTAND.

Hey world ;)
I just recently finished a really nice, actually, conversation with one of my old pals from me old school :) it was pretty great. But i found out some stuff about my other "used to be best friends" that was kind of shocking. I have known some of these girls for years, it seems like, and others, I actually have, since grade one. And to tell the truth, its really shocking to hear when one of these girls that you grew up with does something so drastic since the last time you've seen them...especially when its totally out of their character-that you once knew.
This happened to one of my really good old friends...
To tell you the truth here- this probably isn't that big of a deal. The thing was, that she made out with 2 totally random guys, 3 years older than her, somewhere. I don't know much details, but that's enough for me.
Last year, when i still went to this school, things were WAY different. No "slutty" activity. Well, there was, I'm sure, but not within my circle of friends. We actually made fun of these girls.
Now, since I left, making out, intimate activities, partying- seem like the NORM.
So this make me think - what the HELL happened over there?
To me, it seems like... popularity is a disease. Everyone has to do something that's cool.
I don't give a crap if people call me a "loser" or "stupid" or "inexperienced" or whatever. But for me, I don't want to do that stuff. You know - alcohol, sex, smoking, drugs. Whats the point in the end? When you're an adult, what do you think - will you regret it more than miss it? I wouldn't want to make out with random guys just for the point of "making out" to get brownie points for your peers, or make you "that much cooler." I would rather make it special. If the special things in life just turn normal, everyday things, how is life special anymore? Isn't everyone saying that they want a better, more special life? Yet they STILL do these things?
I really don't understand what goes in the heads of these girls.
And also, I am SURE glad i left before i became corrupt, too.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.

New Blog!

Hey to anyone who may care: or else who may be creeping this. Whatever.
So this is my very first post- kind of exciting in a way! I am just currently getting the hang of things. Hopefully, it will turn out to be pretty cool in some time.
As for me: I'm just some girl who have's some thoughts on the world... and practically everyone else who thinks too (there ain't too many these days) seems to keep overloading the internet with their mind junk. So what the hell, I might as well too.
I called my blog "Pondering Smoke" because I find thought unnervingly similar to smoke- they always start from fire (or emotions in this instance) and eventually float up into your brain, and swirl and obscure what your eyes may be straining to see through the smoldering air.
Get the gist? It's alright if you don't- just don't falling asleep next time in English when you discuss metaphors.
Well anyways, I'm off. I'm not expecting any hits- maybe the odd one. And for that stray Internet Creeper, I really hope that reading this wasn't a complete waste of your time.

Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.