Hey everyone,
I haven't posted a blog recently... I should get on this more often! It seems like I think of some great idea to rant about-then the next time I sit on the computer, its just like, what was my idea again? So, I just decided to sit down and write about whatever happened to pop into my brain at the moment.
First of all, I was chillin' with one of my great pals at lunch (I won't reveal any names for privacy purposes) and we were just looking through all of my "hormonally caused rants" in my outbox. So, here's a couple here.
"Oh, take a screwdriver and go screw yourself. And I hope your noodles burn, and shrivel up like dried up mice fetuses that have been layin' in the sun too long. Can you even guess my epic sport?"
"Ah. Anyways. you still haven't guessed what I do. And don't worry- it's not some dumb, team sport where you are automatically popular when you join. Individual sports: those are the REAL !@#$."
"How depressing. My gawd, now I am all depressed again, how terribly boring and sad our average, stupid, pointless lives are. There has to be a point, or something else out there. Except, every single thing i have read have stated bluntly that this sort of paranoia, that there is something else out there, something else, something more to life, is just normal, average human paranoia that everyone gets. I HATE HGG (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, probably one of the most epic books ever written) as much as i love it."
But really, if you think about it, IS there really a point to all of this? Is there ever a point? For example, you fail a test. It may be important to you at the time, but really, in the end, does it matter? Will it effect the outcome of everything? Will YOU affect the outcome of anything? I guess its ours to decide. But -if you know what I mean- I sort of wish that someone could make that decision for me, so I wouldn't be as lost as I am with this whole thing. In the end, is it just how we treat others around us, how WE affect their lives as a whole? I guess the purpose of our lives is up entirely to the individual. Sadly, not everyone makes the right choice.
Have you ever listen to the song "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wrainwright?
If you haven't, listen to it. And I mean really listen to it.
Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I don't even UNDERSTAND.
Hey world ;)
I just recently finished a really nice, actually, conversation with one of my old pals from me old school :) it was pretty great. But i found out some stuff about my other "used to be best friends" that was kind of shocking. I have known some of these girls for years, it seems like, and others, I actually have, since grade one. And to tell the truth, its really shocking to hear when one of these girls that you grew up with does something so drastic since the last time you've seen them...especially when its totally out of their character-that you once knew.
This happened to one of my really good old friends...
To tell you the truth here- this probably isn't that big of a deal. The thing was, that she made out with 2 totally random guys, 3 years older than her, somewhere. I don't know much details, but that's enough for me.
Last year, when i still went to this school, things were WAY different. No "slutty" activity. Well, there was, I'm sure, but not within my circle of friends. We actually made fun of these girls.
Now, since I left, making out, intimate activities, partying- seem like the NORM.
So this make me think - what the HELL happened over there?
To me, it seems like... popularity is a disease. Everyone has to do something that's cool.
I don't give a crap if people call me a "loser" or "stupid" or "inexperienced" or whatever. But for me, I don't want to do that stuff. You know - alcohol, sex, smoking, drugs. Whats the point in the end? When you're an adult, what do you think - will you regret it more than miss it? I wouldn't want to make out with random guys just for the point of "making out" to get brownie points for your peers, or make you "that much cooler." I would rather make it special. If the special things in life just turn normal, everyday things, how is life special anymore? Isn't everyone saying that they want a better, more special life? Yet they STILL do these things?
I really don't understand what goes in the heads of these girls.
And also, I am SURE glad i left before i became corrupt, too.
Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.
I just recently finished a really nice, actually, conversation with one of my old pals from me old school :) it was pretty great. But i found out some stuff about my other "used to be best friends" that was kind of shocking. I have known some of these girls for years, it seems like, and others, I actually have, since grade one. And to tell the truth, its really shocking to hear when one of these girls that you grew up with does something so drastic since the last time you've seen them...especially when its totally out of their character-that you once knew.
This happened to one of my really good old friends...
To tell you the truth here- this probably isn't that big of a deal. The thing was, that she made out with 2 totally random guys, 3 years older than her, somewhere. I don't know much details, but that's enough for me.
Last year, when i still went to this school, things were WAY different. No "slutty" activity. Well, there was, I'm sure, but not within my circle of friends. We actually made fun of these girls.
Now, since I left, making out, intimate activities, partying- seem like the NORM.
So this make me think - what the HELL happened over there?
To me, it seems like... popularity is a disease. Everyone has to do something that's cool.
I don't give a crap if people call me a "loser" or "stupid" or "inexperienced" or whatever. But for me, I don't want to do that stuff. You know - alcohol, sex, smoking, drugs. Whats the point in the end? When you're an adult, what do you think - will you regret it more than miss it? I wouldn't want to make out with random guys just for the point of "making out" to get brownie points for your peers, or make you "that much cooler." I would rather make it special. If the special things in life just turn normal, everyday things, how is life special anymore? Isn't everyone saying that they want a better, more special life? Yet they STILL do these things?
I really don't understand what goes in the heads of these girls.
And also, I am SURE glad i left before i became corrupt, too.
Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
New Blog!
Hey to anyone who may care: or else who may be creeping this. Whatever.
So this is my very first post- kind of exciting in a way! I am just currently getting the hang of things. Hopefully, it will turn out to be pretty cool in some time.
As for me: I'm just some girl who have's some thoughts on the world... and practically everyone else who thinks too (there ain't too many these days) seems to keep overloading the internet with their mind junk. So what the hell, I might as well too.
I called my blog "Pondering Smoke" because I find thought unnervingly similar to smoke- they always start from fire (or emotions in this instance) and eventually float up into your brain, and swirl and obscure what your eyes may be straining to see through the smoldering air.
Get the gist? It's alright if you don't- just don't falling asleep next time in English when you discuss metaphors.
Well anyways, I'm off. I'm not expecting any hits- maybe the odd one. And for that stray Internet Creeper, I really hope that reading this wasn't a complete waste of your time.
Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.
So this is my very first post- kind of exciting in a way! I am just currently getting the hang of things. Hopefully, it will turn out to be pretty cool in some time.
As for me: I'm just some girl who have's some thoughts on the world... and practically everyone else who thinks too (there ain't too many these days) seems to keep overloading the internet with their mind junk. So what the hell, I might as well too.
I called my blog "Pondering Smoke" because I find thought unnervingly similar to smoke- they always start from fire (or emotions in this instance) and eventually float up into your brain, and swirl and obscure what your eyes may be straining to see through the smoldering air.
Get the gist? It's alright if you don't- just don't falling asleep next time in English when you discuss metaphors.
Well anyways, I'm off. I'm not expecting any hits- maybe the odd one. And for that stray Internet Creeper, I really hope that reading this wasn't a complete waste of your time.
Torching the Smoke,
Leahpeia.
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